Of bubbles and multitudes
and, of course, fresh-brewed coffee
*don’t feel you have to be a researcher to receive benefit from this newsletter, adapt to your own needs as necessary
Holding the thread…
This week, I’ve been noticing how I don’t want to create … no, scratch that & reweave … I want to create, but I am reluctant to be creative. Unpicking this I came to the realisation distilled into one, short sentence.
‘If I do not create, then I can’t be criticised.’
And this means by myself as well as others, for, after all, we are often our own worst critics. Journaling through this.
A Small Story
Soap bubbles floating on the air are ephemeral beauty, soap suds in the bath are splashy, shape-building fun. But the soap suds of the kitchen sink - they hold a weight.
The weight of ‘should’ and ‘must’ and ‘have to’, not fun phrases.
!0 year-old me knew I should just do it, it’s one of the ways I contributed to the household, especially as dad worked away for long lengths of time. It was a way to help my mother. But the ‘should’ and ‘must-ness’ of it made me want to stamp my feet, shout at the top of my voice “but I don’t want to!” (all in my head of course because that kind of defiance was not allowed). I hated it, the greasy water, the bits of food floating around … urgh.
Even now, many years later, I adore my dishwasher as much as I detest my kitchen sink. Those internalised memories and feelings are strong.
How often have you felt ‘should-ed’? Being told that you ‘should’ do this, that, or the other? How do you experience those ‘shoulds’?
Sometimes a ‘should’ is good for us, and yet there’s still resistance. That tension - where does it show up for you? What part of the body? What does it say to you? How does it make you react?
And - most importantly - how can we overcome all that resistance, shut down the voice, relax our bodies. Then go do the thing because that ‘should’ can lead us to the thing we desire.
A Pattern I’m Noticing
Lately, I’ve been seeing how academics are taught that we have to be precise, cautious with our claims, prove and cite everything. Which is what academia is and needs.
However…
When exploring alternative roles, potentially outside academia, we may be missing or dismissing possible matches absolutely because of our training. Are you missing opportunities?
Reflective journaling for you
Where can your potential take you?
Can you consider a role description as a direction rather than a destination?
A Mapping Prompt
This fortnight’s prompt: Where are the tensions between what you want to research and what you need to research?
Where might you need to loosen the thread rather than pull harder?
Something I’m Sitting With
“I am large, I contain multitudes” Walt Whitman, Song of Myself (part 51)
Accepting that I am complicated and contradictory and made up of the many encounters I have had in my life. Embracing this in my work and life and creativity.
An Invitation
If this connects with where you are, I’m currently holding space for weaving new connections and picking up those where I dropped the thread. I would love to hear from you, I would enjoy discovering the patterns you are creating in your life.
And how you prefer your coffee.
Remember…
The story doesn’t need finishing today; take a moment to notice the thread you’re holding, and let this be a small pause amidst the swirl.
With care, and coffee
Sharon
PS: This letter sits alongside Mapping Your Story, my framework for turning research into stories that connect, and Unpicking the Pattern, a reflective guide for working gently with resistance and self-doubt. They’re part of the wider work I hold through Fuelled by Coffee.